Why We Need to Get Up and Walk at Work

Do your legs become stiff and muscles sore from sitting all day at work? Is it cold in the office? Forbes Living TV offers ways to get up and walk at work.

Anyone who has sat all day and then gets up to walk to the bathroom, the break room or even home at the end of the day knows how stiff joints and muscles get from sitting all day. Below are some suggestions about how to add small amounts of movement into the day to avoid circulation problems and/or joint and muscles issues later.

Position the desk chair so it is comfortable and allows legs to touch the floor easily.

Take a 15 minute morning break to walk around outside, on your floor or in the building. This reverses the bad health effects of sitting all day such as damage to leg arteries and reduces heart-related problems.

familykenkel learns that a recent study found that during a three hour period, the function of the femoral artery was decreased as much as 50% after just one hour of sitting. But study participants who walked for five minutes each hour of sitting did not experience that drop in arterial function. This suggests that the increase in muscle activity and blood flow is vital.

Get up every hour and walk around. Most states give employees two 15 minute breaks per day plus a lunch break. Use breaks to walk and keep arteries and blood flow normal. Walking also increases oxygen to the brain which can aid creativity and boost productivity.

How to Gripe and Get What You Want

Call it complaining, griping of kvetching. There is a certain way to do it and pretty much get what you want. familykenkel learns (and has tried) to complain the right way.  If griping about what you didn’t get or did get that’s not right didn’t get you anywhere, try some of the useful suggestions below from an etiquette expert.

Step back and ask yourself if you have a legitimate complaint. Or are you really having a bad day and want a little validation? Is it really worth it to complain? If so, please do let the other party try to rectify the problem before pummeling the person with barrage of bad words.

Use the right avenue to file a grievance. Social media accounts are the most public way of letting a business or company know they wronged you. And most businesses have social media accounts. Be firm, be polite and state the problem. If no result is produced, write to the CEO with your complaint. Be patient.

Avoid using foul language or to making threats. Most people do not feel they can have a rational conversation with someone who seems to want nothing more than to trash and bash. Be courteous and resist any urges to name-call.

familykenkel also knows that it’s nice to get a good review. If a business or company has resolved the issue, or has provided service that is better than expected, let them know. After all, we all need to hear kind words.

Celebrate and Stop the Crazy Loop

					Q: I have a 15-year-old son who has established a pattern of running away. I've been advised to call the police when this occurs. What do you suggest? A: Running away is indicative of a child who has entered a fear state. When we, and all animals in the animal kingdom become threatened, we go into a primitive response called the "Fight or Flight" response. It is an inborn genetic response, which helps to protect us; it is a survival response.
With this understanding, it perplexes me to think that calling the police on a child in this survival response pattern would ever be recommended. Why would you call out the police to address a child who is simply acting from his body's primitive, automatic, and inborn response? Your child is acting from an unconscious level. It isn't a conscious response; it is an unconscious reaction. Addressing it from an authoritarian and fear based approach will only keep your child in this pattern; hence, you described it as an "established pattern." We have somehow come to believe that we can force change by provoking fear and threat. This is completely unnatural. Have you ever seen nature force a seedling to grow? This is a choice that has to come from an internal place from within a person. To give such advice about sending the police is an example of doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result (this of course, is the definition of insanity). Statistics reveal that more than one in 100 adults in the United States have been in jail or prison. This is an all time high. When are we going to realize that this isn't working? Our own fear keeps us in a constricted place, locked in from seeing other alternatives. Fear keeps us in a crazy loop of trying harder, "upping the ante," and driving more consequences in order to get our children to behave and to be compliant. Here is the traditional parenting crazy loop: For young children, we start by picking them up and putting them in the time-out chair. When they get too old to sit in time out, we began removing privileges in order to get them to comply. When this becomes ineffective with a "whatever" response from them, we increase the stakes and ground them for a week. Finally, as teenagers, they realize they have the ability to just leave and run away. Then we call in the big guns and call the police. None of the craziness above is effective in the long-term, and only limited in the short-term. This problem is, love has not been a part of the solution...that is why the crazy loop has continued. If you want to end the cyclical turmoil in a family, put love into action. Unfortunately, many of us have no blueprint for what this looks like, so it challenges us at a deep level to consider that it would actually work. The next time your son runs away (and I also suggest looking closely at the circumstances that led up to this event and determine how much fear from both you and him contributed to the situation), I want you to plan a celebration for his return. Instead of calling the police, call the caterer! Seriously, bake a cake or some cookies. Make a banner that says, "Welcome home, son. We missed you." When a child returns, what we typically do is dump our fear onto the child. Instead of saying, "I was scared for you," we typically say, "How dare you leave this house and not tell us where you were going!" We need to realize that it took a tremendous amount of courage for the child to walk back into that door, knowing the parent was going to lecture him about everything he had done wrong. Put love into action when he walks in the next time. "Son, I'm so glad you're home. We missed you." It takes putting your fear aside and getting down to your core feelings. You did miss him. You are glad he is home. Let him know how special he is in your life. If you've lost these loving feelings towards your child due to the intense dysregulation going on, revisit pictures of when he was younger and when times were calmer and more pleasant. Get yourself back into a loving place with him. Later in the day, take the time to be with your child and listen to him. Talk about what it is that drives him to leave. Really listen to him. Give him space to voice himself. Stay out of being defensive. Know that when he feels heard, he will be able to hear you. When you give him the gift of being understood, you then can take the opportunity to express your fear. "I just get so scared when you leave. When I don't know where you are, I can't do anything to help you at that point. I also can’t do my ultimate job for you as a parent, and that is to keep you safe." Be courageous enough to try something different. You have the capacity to interrupt the negative crazy loop and to change this established pattern with your child. It takes trusting that love never fails.

Get Spooked

Americais a big country and in it are some very haunted hotels, hospitals and houses. Familykenkel shares some of the coolest and probably most scary places to visit on or before Halloween. Hang on to someone.

Trans-Alleghany Lunatic Asylum, Weston, VA– Take someone strong with you to hold onto as this former state hospital is still be home to hundreds of patients who lived and died there. Some of them come back to visit.  Brave souls can stay overnight with an experienced ghost hunter.

Villisca Ax Murder House, Villisca, Iowa

Several people were killed in this house including some children. Visitors to the house reported spontaneous instances of hearing children's voices, falling lamps, moving ladders and flying objects. Sound like fun? Have at it.

The Marshall House, Savannah, Ga.

This is a somewhat fun and odd place to stay in the beautiful city. It once served as a Union hospital during the Civil War. Some guests who have stayed there reported waking up with an outstretched arm as if a nurse was taking their pulse. And be sure to check if your travel partner is in bed with you. Water faucets turn on spontaneously.

Lizzie Borden Bed & Breakfast, Fall River, Mass.

Once the home of Lizzie Borden, this historic old house is now a B&B. Borden was accused of killing her sleeping father and stepmother with an ax. People believe their spirits as well as Ms. Borden’s haunt the house. The B&B owners serve the same breakfast the Borden’s ate in an effort to lure them back. Believe it or not.

Familykenkel invites readers to share any other haunted houses, hospitals, business, theaters or any other location where the souls of those who have passed on come back to check on things.

Reveals Extra Special Pumpkins for Halloween

There are the carved pumpkins that moms and dads create to decorate the outdoors on Halloween. And then there are the extra special ones which fancy celebrities. familykenkel shares some cool ways to make a pumpkin look like Harry Potter, a sports star or a monster, and more.

There are pumpkin carving kits that give anyone the ability to carve a pumpkin so it looks like someone famous. And there are people who grow pumpkins to look like well-known monsters. Whichever way one decides to go, it will please both kids and adults during the special time of the year to find that they’re looking for.

In case one wants a pumpkin that is grown to resemble Frankenstein, there is a farmer in Ventura, California who grows pumpkins to look like Frankenstein. His gourds are called “Pumpkinsteins” and they sell between $75.00 and $125.00 dollars. We’re not sure if he ships them or not. We doubt it since there is no website for the “Pumpkinsteins”. But if you live in the vicinity, why not check it out?

familykenkel also suggests visiting local arts and crafts stores to find stencils to use at home for both drawing and carving.  Below are a few more websites where fans can download stencils to use.

Have a ghoulishly fun time finding what you need to make Halloween a scream. 

Good Habits for Working Out

Many people work out to feel better, get healthy, and gain more strength. And it doesn’t really matter if it’s a one hour power workout in the gym or a ten minute video done in the living room. It just feels good. familykenkel shares some good habits for people who work out – alone or with others.

Hungry? Grab a protein snack on the way to the gym or from the fridge if working out at home. Don’t ignore grumbling stomachs. Exercising on an empty belly can breakdown muscle tissue – which is counteractive to why people workout in the first place. One good habit to keep in mind is the closer to workout time you are – the more simple the meal or snack. Eat a banana, a piece of cheese and some fruit. Even a small bowl of cereal will give you added fuel to start and finish the workout.

Using the equipment at the gym? Take your own sanitizing hand wipes or spray and bring your own water bottle. Wipe or spray the handles, knocks and anything else your hands touch before using the machine. Dry it well with a paper towel. No one wants to put their hands on someone else’s sweat. Make your own flavored water at home with water, lemon, lime, mint, and orange slices, add ice, cover and shake. Avoid using the water fountains.

In a rush to get to spin class on time? Leave a little earlier and avoid speeding to the class.

If working out at home, familykenkel learned the hard way to move free weights out of the way when done using them. One accidental toe stubbing resulted in a week’s worth of limping. Choose a time when no one is home to work out. Or carve time out for yourself by taking a power walk around the area. This is your time. Make it work for you.

New Recipient for the Notorious Gold Star

Q: I understand many of the Beyond Consequences principles and the idea of relationship-based parenting resonates with my heart. However, could you please explain more about why I should see my child’s issues as “regulatory” instead of “behavioral” and the neuroscience that supports this concept? A: Yes, I often say, “A child’s issues are not behavioral, they are regulatory,” because we need to parent children at the level of regulation and relationship. This is imperative, especially with a child who experienced childhood trauma, because we can then more deeply address the critical forces within this child that operate at
deeply address the critical forces within this child that operate implicit levels, beyond the exchanges of language, choices, stars, and sticker charts. The brain is growing at a rapid pace the first two years of life. Forty thousand (40,000) new synapses are formed every second in the infant’s brain. This growth and maturation is experience dependent on the social interactions from right-brain to right-brain between the parent and the child. The right brain is dominant for all children during the first two years of life in order to fully receive and interact with these non-verbal visual, tactile, and verbal communications from the parent. Research suggests that the regulatory interactions between the child and parent during these primal years is essential in order for the brain’s synaptic connections to develop normally and for functional brain circuits to be established. The attachment relationship is a major organizer for the brain during these primary years due to its ability to help the infant regulate emotions and states of stress. Additionally, relationships that offer emotional availability from the parent give the child a chance to develop healthy and responsive regulatory systems. An emotionally available parent provides a dyadic interaction that is socially stimulating and rewarding. This attachment communication is dynamic, multi-sensory (facial expression, auditory, verbal, and tactile), and reciprocal. These relationship-based interactions continue to be a driving factor in a child’s development well beyond these primary years. The engaging and safe social interactions in infancy provide the foundation and backdrop needed to later communicate with and understand and successfully read future caretakers. The child’s interpersonal neurobiology continues to crave connection and relationship throughout childhood in order to ensure healthy development into adulthood. However, when much of a child’s early life experiences have activated his fear response system, the child develops a negative and hopeless blueprint rather than a blueprint organized by affection and optimism. Dominant experiences of fear, loss, abandonment, terror, distress, rage, and indifference from the parent create ill-formed neurological pathways. Overwhelming amounts of stress in childhood create a child who is limited in his window of stress tolerance and ability to modulate emotional and affective states. The good news is that children are resilient and plastic. Meaning, a child’s nervous system and neurological pathways have plasticity, the ability to change, adapt, acquire, and create new and improved neurological pathways. It was in the relationship and emotional states of fear and overwhelm that the damage happened so it stands to reason that it is in the relationship and emotional states of safety and love that the repair and healing happens. Interactive repair, or simply, a safe relationship is what it takes. The most important and most effective “behavioral technique” your child needs in order to move him back within the behavioral boundaries of your home is relationship. Too much emphasis has been placed on what behavioral technique should be used or which punishment should be imposed. Well-meaning parents, who do not understand the concept of regulation nor understand the power of the relationship, use behavioral techniques far removed from human relational experiences. These techniques continue to fail over and over, keeping the family in chaos and potentially moving the family into crisis. Historically, when techniques were used and they resulted in behavioral change, the credit was given to the technique itself. Upon closer inspection, however, the question begs to be asked, “Was the technique or the relationship the influencing factor that brought about change?” The credit should not be given to the technique but rather the relationship that is at the heart of the child’s experience. The child values the relationship and changes his behavior in order to ensure his connection. It was the power of the relationship that created change, not the threat that came with the technique. Build the relationship; it is the key. It is the relationship that does the work…that is where real change happens because it is in the right brain-to-right brain experience that children are able to get back on course. More importantly, it is change that brings not only behavioral shifts, but deep healing that permeates to the heart and soul of a child who has experienced pain and vulnerability. (Isn’t that what really deserves that gold star?).

Information on the New Flu Vaccine

It is that time of year when health professionals are urging the public to get the flu vaccine. familykenkel shares information about what’s new with the flu vaccine this year.

Young children can get the ouchless vaccine via nasal spray. Seniors are encouraged to get an updated flu/pneumonia vaccine this year. One hundred children died from the flu last year and most of them were no vaccinated. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention states that approximately 24,000 people passed away last year from flu-related issues. The new Flu Mist Nasal Spray is recommended for children between ages two and eight. The mist can be also be used for anyone up to age 49 and not pregnant. Seniors over age 65 should also get the pneumonia shots – which should be given six months apart.

familykenkel knows there are other forms of the vaccine to ask the doctor about:

the regular shot; an egg-free shot for those allergic to eggs; a high-dose shot just for those 65 and older whose immune systems may need an extra boost; and a tiny-needle shot that just penetrates the skin. Don’t wait until flu season is in full swing (January to February) to get vaccinated.  Call the doctor to see if the vaccine is available and get it now. Prevention is the key to staying healthy and well this year.

Benefits of Renting Versus Owning a Home

Many former home owners turned to renting when the Great Recession hit and joined those were already renting a home, condo or apartment. These people found some benefits to renting versus owning a home, which familykenkel details below.

U.S.census data reported by RealtyTrac states the number of renters in American homes rose to 34.5% in 2011.  Close to one-fourth of all U.S.metro regions saw higher rental rates, which are still in effect today. When more people want to rent, the higher rental rates will be. Plus, the number of millenials who are now working are also renting.  This creates a shortage of rental homes and gives property management companies and landlords carte blanche to hike rental rates.  Despite the rise in rent and the lack of affordable housing, there are benefits to this type of living:

• Renters do not have the responsibility or cost of home repairs.
• They do not have to worry about lawn maintenance.
• They can pack up and move when the lease expires.
• They can negotiate for a better rate when moving in or when renewing, and add perks such as a new microwave oven, free carpet and air duct cleaning and valet trash service.

Familykenkel show encourages readers to be sure to explore different cities and towns close to work before signing a rental lease. Also, be sure to read every page of the lease, even if the lease it long – as most are. Ask questions. Be very much informed about what the lease covers and does not cover, when rent is due and what the late fee is per day. These are items which can make renting pleasant or miserable. Renting is not for everyone. But neither is home ownership.